I've never been one to follow through with things. I guess you can say it is in my nature to get all excited about something, do it for a week, and forget about it. It is definitely one of my downfalls, but I am trying to change that--especially now that I have a reason to stick to something. I am struggling, though. It's gonna be hard.
Taking medication was always difficult for me to do on a regular basis. I got prescribed anti-depressants quite a few times and would take them for a week and never take them again. Did they work? Who knows? I didn't take them long enough to even notice. This is one of the reasons I never took birth control pills. Ok, that's a lie. I did once. I took them for a little less than a month and suffered the consequences for abandoning ship. If you are female, I think you may know what I am talking about. If you aren't, just stop thinking about it and move on. Trust me, you don't want to know.
Now that Diabetes has swept into my life and taken over, I have had to really work hard at not fall back into my irresponsible tendencies. I did for quite a while and look where it got me--almost dieing without even realizing what I was doing to myself. Throughout the time of my denial phase, I was constantly sick and tired. I don't know how my boyfriend dealt with me like that. I couldn't even imagine how many times I must have gone into DKA. I knew it. Did I do anything about it? No. I didn't care. I thought I was invincible. I did luck out though (I'm still here, aren't I?) but that is not the way to do things. All I have to do is thank my lucky stars and move on. I don't want to ever do that to myself again.
I've been feeling so much better since I hopped back on the band wagon. No more migraines, no more nausea. I haven't had to use my awful-looking magnification glasses once! My boyfriend, Troy, must be relieved. The struggles aren't over yet, though. For the past few days, I have been getting lazy. The log book I am supposed to be keeping is beginning to grow holes in it. I was going really good for about 2 weeks and wouldn't you know, I began to push it aside, insisting (to myself) that I would remember everything and write it down later. Yeah, that didn't happen. I keep telling myself that I will just start it again tomorrow. I'll right down breakfast and lunch but forget dinner. I really need to get back on the ball! I have also had a few things to eat without taking insulin. Not good at all. I started getting high blood sugars again and I struggled to get them back down. I did though.
I have decided that I really need support. Not just from friends, family, and Troy, but from other individuals living with Diabetes. I am opening myself up here, in hopes that I can find others out there who feel my pain. Thank you for your support and Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
One of the things I use to keep track is a Google spreadsheet. I didn't create the spreadsheet, it was made by another diabetic. But it's a way that I keep a record of my glucose readings. Here's the link to it and you can save it to your Google documents to begin using.
ReplyDeletehttps://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=pnlEGgaH4Qr5w40NxI9SFEA#gid=0
For insulin intake, I track that on my UltraSmart meter.
Hey Mary. I've historically been terrible at keeping up with D-Management, and more often slack than anything else. I'd do the same type of thing growing up, from my mid-teens on: fall off the bandwagon, slack, get high BGs and A1Cs, then get motivated briefly for whatever reason and then restart the whole cycle. But finding that "hope" and happiness of my wife changed that, and then ultimately the regular interaction with the DOC has kept me on track. Talking more about my D-Life and the routine things, and just interacting with friends online, helps me stay accountable to myself. The support of this Community, online and how it then trickles offline, cannot be put on a high enough pedestal - at least to me. We're here for you, in whatever ways needed. There's only one requirement: Don't be afraid of glitter, cupcakes, or unicorns! As Kim over at Texting My Pancreas might say: You CAN do this!!!! :))
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