Monday, July 25, 2011

I Just Can't Get It Right

Last month, as you all know, I turned over a new leaf. I really started to focus on my health and my diabetes. It was seriously a night and day change. I was excited. My boyfriend, family, nurses and doctors were all excited. I even started this blog to keep myself going. I was doing so well. My blood sugars were down (sometimes too much, but we all know that.) and I was completely ready for the long haul. Until recently.

Recently, I have been getting very discouraged. I was keeping a log book for a while, but I skipped a week and I just can't seem to get myself back into the habit. I still test, as I should, and take my shots like I should be doing. There is a problem, though. Something went wrong. It is as though the dosage of insulin that used to be perfect for me, has failed me for the past week or so. The other day, I went to sleep with a blood sugar reading of 85. When I woke up the next morning, it had skyrocketed to a shocking 150--for no reason. No reason that I can come up with, at least.

Today, I woke up a bit late, so I had no breakfast. I didn't check my blood sugars, either. It wasn't until after 3pm when I actually ate something. I checked my blood sugar, and again, it was in the 300s. The night before that, I ate a banana before I went to bed. A banana! I could understand a little bit of a spike, but this was ridiculous.

I mentioned to one of my diabetes educators that I tended to go low while I was at work, so she told me to lower my dose on the days that I worked. I tried that, but it was as if that tiny unit deduction I made resulted in a radical high blood sugar reading a few hours later. It was awful. I felt like no matter what I did, I couldn't win! Either have my sugars drop too low, or have them skyrocket! Where is my happy medium?

I am really at a loss of what is going on with my body. What does it want from me? I wish it would just let me know! I feel like I am failing as a pseudo pancreas. It is becoming an extremely difficult job to keep up, and I feel as though I am not qualified for the job. I hope I don't get fired!

Thank you so much for reading and for your comments.


  1. I totally know what you are going through. I hit these bumps in the road now and then. The best advice I can give is tackle the issues one at a time. Focus on one issue and make small changes and stick with them for a bit. Sometimes it takes a few days to see the results. Keep trying, you will figure it out

  2. Totally hear you. It's never-ending, and just when we get it under what we think is good control, something changes and takes us in a new direction. Like Chris said: take it one issue at a time, and try not to get too discouraged - we ALL struggle, no matter how long we've been riding this ride. The glucoaster comes more often than we'd care to see it. You CAN do it. Hugs and balancing vibes your way, Mary!

  3. If you were only dx'd in 2009, could this be your "honeymoon" ending - suddenly your insulin needs could be changing dramatically, as your body go from "producing a little bit" on its own to "none"? Basal testing is a big pain, but it might be needed to see what's going on

  4. Oh man I hate when this happens. The sucky part is that it does happen. You should be talking to your doctor and don't let this discourage you. Hang in there, we are all rooting for you!

  5. I am sorry you are going through that! It is never any fun! Could there be a possibility that one or both of your insulins is going bad? Insulin goes bad in degrees, it starts breaking down and the first thing that is noticed is your bloodsugars not doing what they normally do. Generally it is the last thing people think of, because most are not told that insulin doesn't just automatically go bad, it starts losing potency. Also, if you are reusing needles (which I know I did when I wasn't on a pump) the skin cells, tissue, blood that might be in or on the needle, when combined in the bottle of your insulin will break it down and change the structure of the insulin. These are all things I learned the hard way ;) Hang in there! I love your blog!