If there is one thing you should know about me it's this: I don't know anything. Well, maybe somethings, but for the most part, it's gone over my head I guess. Things that I thought I understood have turned out being in the category of "well not quite". My biggest issue I am having right now is counting my carbohydrate intake. It is so overwhelming to me that my mind goes blank sometimes. When I do actually count correctly, it is shocking to see the amount of carbs in the size of the meal I usually eat. I cringe, but I still eat it. Where's my will power? I'll look for it. Hopefully I find it.
Way back when, during diabetic boot camp while in the hospital, they made it sound so simple! For some reason, I could do it and I was even to the point where I was able to order my "room service" for each meal with the correct amount of carbs they were wanting me to eat. It wasn't so bad. I was a pro! The educator was impressed that I learned so quickly. Then they let me go home..
Now, the one benefit to being broke is the fact that all the cheap, processed foods all have the carb amounts right on the side of the package. Of course, the real nutritional value is absent--but that's a whole different blog all together. It sure did make it simple to count them. Balanced meal? Perhaps not. One time, I made a package of mashed potatoes. I ate as many carbs as I was allotted--all with mashed potatoes. No green veggies. Not even protein. I all of the sudden, knew nothing.
Here I am, now--2 years later. I am starting to count again in order for the dietician to figure out my insulin to carb ratio. This time, I know a little better than to fill my plate with mashed potatoes. I try to eat balanced meals and I try to actually cook rather than eat from a package. It's a whole new ballgame with that, though. Now I have to figure out if an actual potato is large, medium or small--likewise with fruit, or anything else. I must be dense because I don't get it! When I count, do I include the vegetables in the count? What if I had lasagna or some other casserole dish? Ahh! It makes me want to hide. Or worse than that--give up.
I think I'm going to have to have another visit with my dietician--soon. Until then, I might lose my mind.