So it's Wednesday again and you know what that means? It's blog posting day! Yes, that is right. If you have not yet noticed, I have limited this blog to once a week and Wednesday happens to be the lucky day! Congratulations, Wednesday.
I see my dietician tomorrow morning. This is the first time in months that I am not looking forward to it. Last time I was there, she gave me instructions to keep the log and she recommended things to add to my diet. You might know, if you have been reading my blogs, that the log went out the window a little after the 4th of July. Forget about the diet suggestions. I can't afford the things she wanted me to eat. Not to mention she recommended milk. And I hate milk.
I feel so awful. It is like I am going to school the day a huge project is due, but it was a project that I never got around finishing. I am so ashamed. When she asks me how I did, I will bow my head in utter shame and tell her that I failed miserably. I won't even be able to look her in the eye because I am afraid of what she will say. I am going to have to try and prepare myself for the disappointment that I will hear in her voice.
Her reaction isn't the only thing I am worried about, though. You see, she is trying to work with me to figure out what me insulin to carb ratio is. In order to do this, you have to keep track of everything that goes into my body. I have to keep track of what my blood sugars are at least four times a day. Basically, I have to see what food is doing what to my body and my sugars. What I have written down would have been a really good snapshot. I had a good two weeks of information. The only problem is that the day I stopped logging was the day my sugars went bonkers. I should have kept it up but I just couldn't do it. All that work for nothing.
I could give her what I have, but what's the use? It has lost all relevance. Now I know what she is going to have me do. Start again. Start fresh. But the just means that I have been wasting months waiting for this appointment with nothing to show for it. Now I have to wait a few more months and hope that I can do it. Again. I hope I don't aggravate her too much. I understand how important this information is. I just hope that she realizes that I do.
Or maybe I could just tell her my dog ate it. Sigh.
Thanks for reading and the comments.
That's good though that you are being honest with her. She is only there to help you! Best of luck! Start fresh as you said and maybe you will see how this is all just to help you. Maybe you can tell her how you can't afford certain types of food and she can help you find something that fits your lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteGive her what you have.. I know I am saying this 5 days after the appt. but still. walk in there owning what you did and did not do. you are doing this for your health not hers. she cares but at the end of the day she goes home and eats what she wants and you go home and make your decisions too. keeping a food journal sucks.. keeping one for months on end really sucks. give her what you got and own it. You would be surprised at what she can do with what you got.
ReplyDeleteWith food, talk to her about likes and dislikes. so you don't like milk what does she/ you think of cheese or peanut butter get the why she wants you to eat certain foods. then look for new or interesting or different ways to use foods you like to fill the hole she is trying to fill.
I used to hate the dietitian until I walked in one day and basically started to swapping recipes with the dietitian. Now we both look forward to me being sentenced to her. we both learn a lot. also my dietitian is also type one so she understands when I ask about things like how do I lock my pump.