There are some days when I'm ok. I do what I have to do to get by. Sometimes I take it hour-by-hour and it is the only thing that keeps me going. I make the motions, which are almost routine for me now, and I keep moving. My diabetes is always on my mind and it takes precedence over everything in my life. But it gets hard sometimes.
There are some days when I want to give up entirely. These days I just want to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry. I want to hide away from the world. I feel so alone in the world and I feel sometimes that nobody really understands what I am going through. Sure, I know a few people online that do, but in my day to day life, I am the only one. It gets lonesome. It gets scary. Having diabetes take over my life is exhausting.
But there are some days when I wake up and I realize that my life isn't so bad. I am taking care of myself and know that one day, my diabetes won't rule my life. It will just be part of who I am. I realize that I am not alone at all. I have a loving family who will always be there for me. I have a loving boyfriend who I look at everyday and know that I want to live for as long as I can because having him in my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to live and I want to be happy. The days that get me down always pass. I just have to remind myself every once in a while.
Thanks for reading!
I am so glad I just found your blog! I just read every post. Your story is amazing and I can't wait to hear more. I know you feel about all of this. It it can be so scary and I feel alone too. Thankfully writing my own blog as also made me feel less alone. Good luck and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Very happy to have found your blog, and am looking forward to reading more as time goes on. You're right: it can feel lonely and isolating, no matter how long you've been Living With Diabetes. We all go through that and feel it to some degree on a regular basis. But the DOC has been life-changing and helps shoulder that burden, and those relationships formed online evolve into more and make all the difference in coping and improving our health. Glad to have you here as part of the ever-expanding DOC!
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